Couch Potato!!!

Yep that was ME this past weekend! No kidding. And you know what? It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to just "surrender"to my body, and allow it to rest as much as it needed. However, it was/is difficult to acknowledge how much rest I require at this time. Honestly 10-12 hours feels about right! That is a LOT isn't it? I am hoping that continuing the increase in the amount of sleep I get in the next few days, or weeks even, then eventually I may need/require less. At least that's what I am hoping lol. We'll see...

I'll see how things work out this week when I am scheduled for one of my chemotherapy treatments. I hope that my commitment to more sleep/rest will mean; 1) that I won't have to postpone the treatment due to feeling too tired to even go in for the infusion! 2) my body is stronger and better able to withstand the treatment, and therefore the side effects will be less (or just more tolerable, as the last one was BAD).

Self Imposed Bed Rest! (Well sort of LOL)

As much as I hate to admit this, I really need to give my body a break and lest it rest. Yikes, I can't believe I just said that! No, but seriously, if I am being honest with myself I know it's the truth and if I don't accept it I will just do more damage to myself. I think the problem for me is that I am (or was) still trying to do what I always did, and the amount I've always done. Basically, my old "normal" is now too much and that's hard for me to see and accept. Right now for ex. my blood pressure is low, as are my white blood cells and hemoglobin and I feel tired and lethargic. It's driving me crazy! I am trying to sleep more, but the more I sleep the more sleep I seem to need! It's kind of driving me crazy. What gives?!

So here's the thing, I am going to surrender, yes me, surrender! I intend to give in to what my body needs. I am going to do that at least for this weekend, and see what comes of it. On the one hand I could discover that a little extra rest is all I needed, and I'll be back to my "normal" in no time. On the other hand I worry that I now have a new (lower "normal") threshold before I begin to feel tired and fatigued. That would be sad for me, and will wonder if I will ever get back to my "old self?" my old "normal?"

Ah so many thoughts rolling around in my mind. I think the best thing for me is not to worry about how many waking hours I have but how I fill those hours. Who knows, maybe knowing that I have fewer "good hours" will help me prioritize and spend my time on the things that matter to me most more. If that's the case, that would surely be an upside to all of this fatigue stuff. ;-)~

Happy New Year! - Glad I'm Still Here

I've decided to start this blog up again. Why? Ah, I think I needed an area to express myself in more detail than I would on OSF.

There's a lot I'd like to say but for now I just want to wish everyone a year filled with love, hope, passion and presence. For me those are the things that make life matter. I am grateful that I made it another year as there were a few times when that was in question.

My resolution, as far has my health goes, is to pay attention to my body and honor it's needs. Getting more sleep is a big part of that.

Well, it's nice to be pack to posting here, but I am going to go now and do the same on my other blog. More to come soon. :)