Couch Potato!!!

Yep that was ME this past weekend! No kidding. And you know what? It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to just "surrender"to my body, and allow it to rest as much as it needed. However, it was/is difficult to acknowledge how much rest I require at this time. Honestly 10-12 hours feels about right! That is a LOT isn't it? I am hoping that continuing the increase in the amount of sleep I get in the next few days, or weeks even, then eventually I may need/require less. At least that's what I am hoping lol. We'll see...

I'll see how things work out this week when I am scheduled for one of my chemotherapy treatments. I hope that my commitment to more sleep/rest will mean; 1) that I won't have to postpone the treatment due to feeling too tired to even go in for the infusion! 2) my body is stronger and better able to withstand the treatment, and therefore the side effects will be less (or just more tolerable, as the last one was BAD).

Self Imposed Bed Rest! (Well sort of LOL)

As much as I hate to admit this, I really need to give my body a break and lest it rest. Yikes, I can't believe I just said that! No, but seriously, if I am being honest with myself I know it's the truth and if I don't accept it I will just do more damage to myself. I think the problem for me is that I am (or was) still trying to do what I always did, and the amount I've always done. Basically, my old "normal" is now too much and that's hard for me to see and accept. Right now for ex. my blood pressure is low, as are my white blood cells and hemoglobin and I feel tired and lethargic. It's driving me crazy! I am trying to sleep more, but the more I sleep the more sleep I seem to need! It's kind of driving me crazy. What gives?!

So here's the thing, I am going to surrender, yes me, surrender! I intend to give in to what my body needs. I am going to do that at least for this weekend, and see what comes of it. On the one hand I could discover that a little extra rest is all I needed, and I'll be back to my "normal" in no time. On the other hand I worry that I now have a new (lower "normal") threshold before I begin to feel tired and fatigued. That would be sad for me, and will wonder if I will ever get back to my "old self?" my old "normal?"

Ah so many thoughts rolling around in my mind. I think the best thing for me is not to worry about how many waking hours I have but how I fill those hours. Who knows, maybe knowing that I have fewer "good hours" will help me prioritize and spend my time on the things that matter to me most more. If that's the case, that would surely be an upside to all of this fatigue stuff. ;-)~

Happy New Year! - Glad I'm Still Here

I've decided to start this blog up again. Why? Ah, I think I needed an area to express myself in more detail than I would on OSF.

There's a lot I'd like to say but for now I just want to wish everyone a year filled with love, hope, passion and presence. For me those are the things that make life matter. I am grateful that I made it another year as there were a few times when that was in question.

My resolution, as far has my health goes, is to pay attention to my body and honor it's needs. Getting more sleep is a big part of that.

Well, it's nice to be pack to posting here, but I am going to go now and do the same on my other blog. More to come soon. :)

OWWWWWWWWWWWWW

That's from the pain in my hips! Only a few people kknow this, but the cancer had spread to my hip bones (the inner part). The pain is out of this world. I really don't know how else to describe it. To tell you the truth, I am quite surprised to be having this pain because it seems that the tumors are shrinking. So what's the deal? My dr has offered radiation as an option, but I've been holding out to see if it improves on its own. I am reluctant to do radiation, because as I understand it you can only radiate an area once. Therefore, I think that it should absolutely be the last resort.

That's all I have to report for the moment. I am hopeful that when I awake tomorrow the hip pain will either be gone or hardly noticeable. :)

Here I am

Oh dear! I can not believe how long it's been since my last post, but anyway HERE I AM right now. :)

Rather than bore you with a bunch of details from the days past, I'll simply state how I'm doing right now. Right now, I am doing wonderfully! Physically I feel a little tired. I had kind of a whirlwind day of giving yesterday, so that is understandable. Other than that, everything is OK. My pains are under control (I am still using the 75mcg patch + some pills). The nausea thing is also mild today. I haven't even had to take the anti-nausea pill yet! This is the first time since my last chemotherapy that this has been the case. So that's pretty cool!

So that's it. Nothing else really to report. Oh I have an appt to see the Dr on Monday for a follow-up. The next treatment will be the 6th, and that's the amount prescribed for this round. So I would like to know definitively "what now?" I mean, we've sort of covered it, but I am still not quite clear so I think another discussion is in order, and I know that the hubs has some questions of his own so...

OK. I think that about does it for now. I will be conscious to let a significantly less amount of time pass before I post again! :)

I see the light, not THAT light! :)

I mean the light at the end of the tunnel. I have gotten over the hump, that first week or so after the main chemo. It was really bad for a few days, but it has gotten better and better each day. I went in for the Avastin yesterday(Thurs). That went well. I learned that my white counts were WAY down. They were at 0.3 (a low-normal is 4.0-5.0), and I have to be vigilant the next few days as the wbcs go down to their lowest in the 7-10 window. Today is day 8. If I venture out, especially amongst a group I have to wear a mask. Fun!

I am feeling pretty good right now, and I plan to make the most of it. I have some OSF stuff to work on, and it's so nice to have my energy back to do it! I'm not sure yet, what we'll be doing for Father's day, but I think if I get plenty of rest I'll be able to hang with the guys with no problem. :)

The side effects are in full effect!

I am posting this at 4:00a.m so it counts as a Sunday post. That means it's been 3 days since my last chemo. Boy oh boy am I feeling it! The nausea, sore throat, overall fatigue, they are all keeping me company these days. So, I am just rolling with it and doing what I can, when I can. Naps are a MUST during this time period, as the fatigue is enormous. There is also the effects of the Neulasta (shot to promote white blood cell production), which is aches and pain in the bones and joints. I know, I really picnic right? LOL